Keys, please

I think I need to figure out a way to permanently affix a set of keys to my body so that I'm never without. On Saturday, after a lovely day running around rural Virginia with my friend and co-worker, Ann, I had that moment of panic that one gets when you realize you are no longer in possession of your keys. This was sort of a problem, because I was the one who had driven that day, and without my keys, Ann and I were potentially stranded in Culpeper, Virginia. As far as places to be stranded in, Culpeper was quite quaint, but it was quite a distance from home, and I had no one with a set of spares that I could call upon for assistance. We re-traced our steps and got pretty lucky; apparently I had put my keys down at the first antique shop we had gone into, and they had them at the counter, waiting for their owner. I'm just glad I realized I no longer had my keys on my before all of the shops closed at six!

So that brings us to Sunday...I had bought some pretty fall marigolds with which to adorn my rather plain front door and stairs, and I figured I should probably water them before I headed off to my part-time job in DC. I filled up my watering can, went downstairs and left the front door open behind. I had just finished watering the flowers when a stiff breeze came along and blew the door shut. I tried the knob; it was locked. Crap. I was out on the front stoop of my house with wet hair, in a t-shirt, skirt, and flip-flips (it was a little chilly), without my wallet, cell phone or keys. I ran down my list of options: the garage was shut tight, so no getting in that way; I didn't know any of my neighbors well enough to ring their doorbell on a Sunday morning to ask for their assistance; I didn't have any friend in the wings waiting with a set of spares, and even if I did, how was I going to contact that person without my phone?; and that's when I realized I was pretty well screwed and began cursing my cats and their lack of opposable thumbs.

I decided to walk up to the "main street" area of our housing development and see if any of the businesses were open, thinking someone might be nice and lend me a phone book and a phone in order to call a locksmith. I didn't get my hopes up though; I knew that none of the dry cleaners were open on Sundays, which only left the nail salons and I was was pretty sure none of them would be open at 10:20 or so in the morning on a Sunday. Well, fortunately for me, I proved myself wrong as one of the nail salons had just opened up for 10:30. They let me borrow a phone and call a locksmith who I chose based solely on their yellowpage ad that said, "Service in 15 minutes!" After I called and made the appointment, it became quite clear that today was not going to be one of their 15 minute days, as I was told it would take at least 45 minutes for a locksmith to arrive. Great. Now I was locked out and would have to wait outside in the chilly morning and I was going to be late for work.

An hour or so later, after contemplating whether or not I could scale my front porch and climb up to the window I had left open on the second floor, the locksmith arrived and got down to business. The only problem being that he couldn't pick the lock. At this point, thoroughly exasperated, I told him to just drill it out and get to it. I'd fix the lock later, which was fine, because the deadbolt was still operational. 5 minutes and $240 later, and I was finally back in my house. Now I'm trying to figure out ways to hide spare keys all over the outside of our condo so I never ever have to go through that again. Anyone have any ideas?